


Scar

by HelloHeadquarters



Series: Cryptage Week 2020 [6]
Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Cryptage Week (Apex Legends), Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:34:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26818177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelloHeadquarters/pseuds/HelloHeadquarters
Summary: Elliott's got a new scar to add to his collection, and it's getting him down and making him overthink his relationship with Tae Joon.
Relationships: Crypto | Park Tae Joon/Mirage | Elliott Witt
Series: Cryptage Week 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1942780
Comments: 3
Kudos: 49





	Scar

**Author's Note:**

> Cryptageweek day 6 - H/C
> 
> Day late.

Elliott stared into the mirror, heart sinking as he studied his latest acquisition. A thin scar crossed his lips, right through the centre in a diagonal slash about an inch and half long. Fucking Octavio and that stupid knife of his. He sighed heavily as he took it in, eyes shifting to the other scars that graced his features; the small arc across the bridge of his nose and the one through his brow that still made him feel nauseous when he thought about how close he had come to losing his eye completely. 

They were nothing compared to the others, the ones he could hide beneath his clothes. They mattered less even though they were bigger, uglier, more obvious, because no one had to see them. No one had to look at them and get that expression on their face, that weird mixture of revulsion and sympathy that Elliott was certain he always saw when he let anyone get too close. 

Which he had, he thought as his eyes refused to move from the fresh scar he had now to add to the old. He'd let Tae Joon in before he'd even had time to feel ashamed of the wounds that littered his body, each one a reminder of a time when he had been too slow, too stupid, and just not good enough. 

He shook his head and turned away. It wasn't supposed to bother him, he knew, he was supposed to be better than that. He was supposed to be above such things and try to carry a little more substance within him but the truth was that when the chips were down and he was broken and beaten and done for, he always had his looks to fall back on. Every time he lost in the ring, every time he felt like giving up when he saw how much he seemed to struggle compared to the others, he would return home to find a pile of fan mail waiting for him. 

Sometimes they praised his performance or his tech, but mostly, he had noticed, they were all huge fans of the way he looked. It didn't matter much because praise was praise to Elliott and it buoyed him up, made him feel like it was worth it to continue prancing around the ring for one more day. Hey, maybe tomorrow would be the day when he finally became good enough.

Then fucking Octavio had jumped down on him from a ledge as he'd stalked his way through a pair of buildings in fragment, slashing at him with that butterfly knife of his like a feral animal until he had been rescued by Natalie, of all people, who had sent the daredevil packing with a shot from her Mastiff that almost knocked her on her ass, too. 

Elliott was thankful that it was Ajay who rounded out the numbers in the squad and she had patched up his cuts as best she could, complaining about Octavio the whole time in the way only she was allowed to do. When she had gotten to his mouth, however, she had frowned briefly before relaxing her features. 

"What?" he pressed, wincing at the sting at his lips. 

"Its nuthin', now hold still," Ajay replied quickly. 

"Yoire a bad liar, Ajay. How bad is it?"

Ajay stopped what she was doing so she could look at him properly. "It's deep," she said with a sigh. "Probably get away without stitches but you ain't gonna be making out with no one for a while."

Elliott laughed, but his heart wasn't in it. "Another badass scar to add to my collection, huh?" he said, trying to sound nonchalent. 

Ajay seemed relieved at his attitude and he watched the tension leave her brow. "Ain't no one more badass in all the Outlands," she replied with a smile.

"Hey, you keep that up and I might have have to break your 'no smooching' rule," he said with a wink as she carried on tending to his cuts.

"Don't think Hyeon would like that very much," she replied lightly, raising an eyebrow but deliberately not looking at him. 

Elliott snapped his head up to look at her instead. He opened his mouth and Ajay just leaned back slightly with a tired look on her face. "You must think I'm stupid," she said fondly.

"No, I think you're nosy," Elliott replied. 

Ajay smiled like sunshine. "Maybe. But I was there at the beginning, remember? Coulda cut the tension between you two wi' a-" Ajay stopped herself abruptly.

"With a knife?" Elliott supplied pointedly. 

"Don't you try an' change the subject by makin' me feel bad," Ajay admonished him.

"Alright fine, but you can keep a secret, right?"

"I'm a doctor, Elliott, it's in the job description."

"Good." Elliott looked around them both furtively. "He's... uh, well, he pretty awesome, I gotta say." The words tumbled out of him with a breathy laugh. 

Ajay looked at him, her eyes playful. "Well, you tell him he's gotta control himself around you for a while 'til ya heal."

-

That had been two weeks ago, and the scar was still raised and pink. 

Tae Joon had been what Tae Joon always was. Sympathetic, but it wasn't as if Elliott was at death's door so Elliott never quite got the amount of fussing he had been hoping for. Tae Joon let him complain, let him rant, but Elliott knew he didn't quite understand why it was bothering Elliott so much. When it came to attention, he and Tae Joon were so far at each end of the scale they couldn't even see each other anymore. Tae Joon didn't care if he was attractive; given what he had put his features through, he seemed to have resigned himself to the fact that he wasn't going to be winning any awards any time soon and he didn't seem to worry about it. In the shadows, in the darkness when it was just them, Elliott spilled pages and pages of words about how beautiful he found Tae Joon, how the sight of him drove him wild, and every syllable was the truth.

Tae Joon was a little more sparse with compliments, as if he didn't know how to form them or what to say, but when the day started to end, when they were tangled together or just lying beside one another, Tae Joon found enough peace to be honest. He complimented Elliott's mind, his humour and his patience, and only when he had his hands against the bare flesh of it did he sing praises of Elliott's body. 

His face, though? Perhaps it was too awkward and intimate somehow, or maybe he just didn't think about things like that, Elliott wasn't sure.

Maybe he kind of thought Elliott was ugly. 

Tae Joon had always been the stubborn one throughout this whole thing. Elliott had fought to get him and sometimes he felt as if he were fighting to keep him, too. He didn't doubt that Tae Joon cared for him, it was just that Tae Joon had so much going on, so much serious shit that it would have been reckless for him to spend a second thinking about the guy he was hooking up with being insecure about his damn face.

Elliott was too superficial for Tae Joon, and Tae Joon was too distant for Elliott.

He shook his head slightly. Hell of a lot of leaps to make on the back of one tiny little lip scar. 

Still, the thoughts were in his head now and they weren't going to leave any time soon. He was too scared to go and see Tae Joon and talk to him about this; just the thought of it made him feel trivial and stupid. Instead he went to his room and lay on his bed, hoping that tomorrow the scar might have faded a little and he could feel a bit better.

-

It was almost midnight when he heard the soft tap at his door.

"Elliott? Are you there?"

Sighing, and ignoring the lurch in his gut at the sound of Tae Joon's voice, Elliott rolled off his bed and opened the door. "Hey," he said with a small nod. "It's late."

"Yes," Tae Joon agreed. It seemed as though he had worked out immediately that something was wrong with Elliott and his body became slightly tense. "I thought it strange I had not heard from you. Is everything alright?"

A small quirk of irritation shot through Elliott. It seemed as though it were always up to him to seek Tae Joon out so they could spend time together. Elliott knew, god did he know, that he could be a little needy, a little clingy, but he had been trying so hard not to let it show with Tae Joon, who would never have appreciated it.

"Fine. I'm fine. Been here all day man," he said pointedly.

"Can I come in?" 

Elliott felt a small lump of guilt settle in chest now to join the rest of the awfulness there. Tae Joon looked nervous and worried, not much but enough that Elliott could see it.

"Yeah, sure," he said, standing to one side and letting Tae Joon pass. Usually Elliott would have been kissing him before the door had even clicked shut, and maybe Tae Joon didn't notice because they hadn't been able to do that while Elliott was healing but Elliott just didn't want to.

"Is... Did I... Elliott, something is wrong." Tae Joon may have been nervous but he was still Tae Joon. He didn't like dancing around issues or being made to play stupid games, and that at least, was fair.

Elliott sighed. "It's... me stuff. Nothing you need to worry about."

"What kind of stuff?"

"I told you, it's not important. It doesn't matter." Elliott suddenly felt ridiculous. He had been working himself up, getting pouty and bitter about how much attention Tae Joon paid to him when the man had sought him out so late at night to make sure he was alright. Because he was worried. Because he cared. They could and would talk about it, but Elliott was not in the best place for that right now. "Good news, the doc has cleared me for make out duty," he said, trying to cheer up his tone. He reached out for Tae Joon, taking his wrist gently and though Tae Joon allowed himself to be pulled closer and kissed gently, he soon moved away, still in Elliott's arms.

"Elliott," he said seriously. "Tell me."

"It doesn't matter," Elliott said quickly. "Honestly. I'm fine. You're here."

Tae Joon didn't seem to be buying it. "I could have been here sooner."

"Maybe, look, come on, it's not like we get to spend ages together so let's not waste it, yeah?" He leaned in again but Tae Joon moved his head purposely. Elliott expected him to look angry, but he didn't. He seemed sad.

"Please talk to me."

Elliott sighed and sat down on the edge of his bed. "Its stupid," he said as Tae Joon sat beside him. "I'm stupid."

"Elliott, don't," Tae Joon said softly.

"Ok... It's just, you're gonna think I'm being weird but it's... My face."

"Your... your face? Does it still hurt?"

Elliott sighed. "No, but that's my point. Look at it. Look at the state of it."

Tae Joon looked genuinely confused. "It looks the same to me," he said.

Elliott rolled his shoulders. "Of course it does. Because you're not a shallow moron."

"This is about your lip?" 

Elliott turned away. "No, not just that. It's just..." He looked back, trying to sound defiant. "I mean, you... you're so, well, attractive, and all that stuff, it just adds to it somehow, I don't know. But even if it didn't, it wouldn't matter because you're so smart and so cool, and brave and all this other stuff, but me? I got one thing going for me, and even that's starting to ruin."

"You're right," Tae Joon said. "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard."

"Thank you."

"Look at me, Elliott. Look at me."

Elliott did so as Tae Joon guided him back around with his fingertips. "My face... is not even my own, anymore. I don't care what it looks like because I do not recognise it anymore. Everything, my face, my name, my past, it is all a lie. I was nothing, Elliott, I had nothing. Until I found you."

He shifted slightly, but he didn't drop Elliott's gaze as he continued. 

"All the things you think you are not I say you must be, because I did not want this." He.motioned between the two of them. "I did not want to feel anything other than hatred, I didn't want to do anything besides get my revenge and then there was you, and now I want. I want to feel things and do things I thought were as lost to me as the man I used to be, and I want them with you. I need them with you. You are smart, and brave, and you must be tenacious because I am here, because my heart misses you even though my head tells me it is selfish and dangerous to have you. I can understand why how you look matters to you, I can, but I don't know how to tell you that no matter what happens, I will always be in awe of you."

"That... that'll do it," Elliott finally managed to say. "God, Tae, what the fuck? What the hell am I supposed to say to that?"

Tae Joon smiled ever so slightly. "You will think of something."

Elliott sighed. "Still, the lip scar...?"

"Still?" Tae Joon shook his head. "It's very... dashing."

"Still hurts. Might need you to kiss it better."

"You're a nightmare," Tae Joon replied, kissing him anyway. 

"Hey... thanks. I know that can't have been easy for you."

"Honestly? It was not. But they are things I've been wanting to tell you for a while."

Elliott pulled him in close. "Well, now I know, so I get it if you don't get all mushy with me again any time soon."

"As long as you know," Tae Joon murmured against him. "And don't you dare stay away all day like that again."

Elliott laughed softly. "Aww, did you miss me?"

"I missed my shadow more like."

"So I'm a little clingy, so what?"

"I never said I minded."

Tae Joon pressed a passionate kiss to Elliott's mouth, desperate and hard. 

"Ow, fuck," Elliott complained.


End file.
